And here it is, I guess I have time while I’m copying ~50GB of stuff.
Keep in mind this is not a very serious rant, it’s mostly for comic effects (I’m a bad comic, so…beware).
For now I can only rant about ME1, as it’s the only one I finished.
Something that I joke about while I’m playing is that, from what we can experience, playing “Frogger” is an essential part of everything on that Universe.
You need to open a container to “acquire” some new equipment? You have to play Frogger.
You need to open a locked door? First you play Frogger.
You want to mine something? You gotta play Frogger.
Want to steal Ashley Williams underwear to sniff while you masturbate? Play Frogger (as far as I know, you can’t do this in game, so I don’t know if you’ll need to play Frogger first but it’s not much of a leap given how everything else works, is it?)
Hell, near the end of the game, I thought I would end up playing Frogger against Saren or even better, against Sovereign.
And in case someone hasn’t noticed, I call “Frogger” to that little mini-game they put on pretty much everything, mainly because the first time I saw it I thought: “So, in the future locks are unlocked not by keys or cards but by a round of Frogger. Marvellous…”
They could at least have added a bit of variety to it, I mean…to mine you use the same exact method that you use to open a locked crate. Well…they also have “Simon” to play if you prefer, but in my opinion it’s even worse, maybe that’s why they used it only two or three times on the entire game.
BTW…aren’t all crates locked by design?
Also…why can’t we romance Tali? She seemed to be the more “well adjusted” female there, which is ironic as she is the youngest one, at the same time, maybe her age is why we can’t romance her…meh. One has her brain on her trigger finger (“Oh I have a gun! Gggrrrrrllllll power!!!”), the other seems to be stupid enough (or at least to have her priorities a bit…disorganized) to start looking at Prothean relics while under fire (dunno if she actually does that, never tried, only time I had her on my party was when we went kill the matriarch, but she seems quite capable of doing it.). Yet, you can’t romance the only female who actually seems to have both feet on the ground. Video games…bah.