…why?
First, probably because I have some mood changes…pretty much every single day. So the project that was “fucking great” and “easy to accomplish” on one day, a few days later becomes the project that “is boring”, “too fucking complex” and “needs more planning than I like”.
In reality, that is not much of a mood change, it’s just that when I first get an idea I get ‘drunk’ on it, everything is wonderful, then a few days/weeks later I just look at it again, with my usual ‘cold’/not biased look and all hell breaks loose, that ‘wonderful feature’ becomes ‘a fucking nightmare to implement’, the base idea goes from ‘great’ to ‘needs some tweaks…lots of tweaks…better rewrite the whole thing’.
The only project that almost survived that was “Colina Silenciosa”, mostly due to – as I said on another post – representing my personal gamedev Holy Grail.
But then the friend I was working with – who was in charge of the ‘creative’ part of it – started showing some ideas/concepts that I didn’t really like. E.g. On a ‘Silent Hillish’ game, he wanted a wolf, a fucking magical, guide wolf. And that annoyed me, a lot. So the lack of enthusiasm turned into lack of work on it.
Second – while I hate to admit such a thing – I’m (under) average as far as game development stuff is concerned. For the same exact reason I’m (under) average on anything else on my life, I can’t choose to learn X and stick with it, sometime during my learning of X, I’ll go and try to learn a little bit about Y. For me that applies to learning, doing, thinking, etc…and obviously is not limited to 2 different subjects.
I am indeed ‘Jack of all trades, master of none’.
Third, since I’m also the kind of person ‘who never learns’, I want to plan and write ideas for my next project. Horror/Survival Horror game, probably point and click.
And since this is a rant, I always like to include some ‘useless info’, this time the info is:
Currently reading: All the works by H.P. Lovecraft.
Final words today: I swear one day I will stab Cthulhu in the eye...with a spoon. The randomness of my thoughts must go on!